I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
