we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize