I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
