I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
