I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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