Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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