she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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