We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
