Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
