But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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