how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
