Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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