this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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