I'm jealous of your bromance
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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