I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
