The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
