I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
