Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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