i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
