You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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