physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
