come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize