If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
