Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
