just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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