I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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