What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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