Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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