She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
