I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
