Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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