It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
