I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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