my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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