The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
