he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
