i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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