At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think I won the penis lottery.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
