So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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