operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
