like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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