Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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