You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
