You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
