I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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