i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
