i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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