Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
