i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
