So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize