Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
