oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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