dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
