Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
