Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
