so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
