It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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