so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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