there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Randomize
