I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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