were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize