he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
